


A Bittersweet First Kiss

by ashpichu1



Category: Shadowhunters
Genre: Angst, Death, M/M, Misery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 10:52:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6851719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashpichu1/pseuds/ashpichu1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raphael loves Simon. But some things are meant to stay unsaid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bittersweet First Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> This is hella angsty, and Saphael is one of my favorite ships, but you can't control inspiration

"Get OUT!" The words rang in Raphael's head, a constant reminder of yet another sin he had committed. 

But he had every right to be angry. Simon had betrayed him. No, the CLAN. Thrown away everything; turned his back on them, thrown away their...it didn't matter. 

So as Simon stuttered an apology, begging for forgiveness, Raphael just glared. Didn't Simon know what he had done to him? The nights spent sobbing silently, blood rushing down his face, and onto the cold wooden floors? 

No, Simon had made his choice. And Raphael had made his. "Get. Out." Raphael said, steel in his voice. "If you ever make the mistake of coming here fledging, I'll show you what a monster I really am." 

Simon's eyes widened, and he opened his mouth like he was going to say something, then closed it. Turning, Simon walked towards the door. "I'm sorry," he whispered, knowing Raphael could hear him. Then, without looking back, Simon disappeared through the door, and Raphael wiped his face, his fist smeared with blood. 

Raphael didn't have many regrets is 80 years of life, but as he watched him go, never telling Simon Lewis he loved him was one that would always haunt him. 

As Raphael held Simon's body in his arms, trying to shake him awake, his hardened heart broke yet again because of the boy. 

It had been a werewolf attack. Valentine had been working with some Downworlders, and they had found Simon walking back to the Institute from the Hotel, mere moments after Raphael had told him to go. In mere moments, the beautiful boy Raphael had secretly loved with all the remnants of his heart was taken from him. 

The second Simon had been attacked, Raphael FELT it. It hurt him not on a physical level, but emotional. He could feel Simon being ripped away from him, and by the time he had gotten there, his fledging lay there. Silent. Lifeless. 

He had picked up the fledging and tried to rushed him to Magnus Bane, not caring about anything, except that he survived. He HAD to survive. 

All of a sudden, Raphael felt something. It was subtle, so small anyone else would have missed it. But as his undead heart raced, Raphael looked down into Simon's eyes to find them staring back at him. 

Stopping, Raphael laid Simon down gently on the ground. They were so close to Magnus, he was going to make it. He had to. 

"I love you Raph," he said with in a weak whisper. 

He knew in his heart it was too late for Simon. Tears running down his face, Raphael leaned down, closed his eyes, and pressed a kiss to Simon's lips. 

Their first kiss. 

Their only kiss. 

It was brief, but as all either of them needed. And as Raphael kissed him like his life depended on it, he suddenly felt the younger boy break away. 

Raphael opened his eyes to find Simon staring back at him, eyes glassy. 

Simon Lewis had destroyed Raphael Santiago. He had taken his heart, crushed it, yet Raphael still loved the boy. And now, as blood poured down Raphael's face and he clutched Simon's body in his arms, Raphael knew he was ruined. 

He would never see Simon's goofy smile again, or hear him go on about another random topics. He would never get to hold him in his arms, whispering promises of a beautiful immortal future. There would never be another kiss, for falling even deeper in love, day by day. 

Simon Lewis was gone. 

And so was Raphael Santiago's heart.


End file.
